I ain't the kind to walk alone on the road.
I like to have someone to chat along with when I walk.
I like not to think when I walk - it screws badly with my head.
Today, however I walked alone.
I went out of the house in anger.
I needed 'space' or whatever you term it to get my emotions and thoughts into place.
Nothing life threatening really happened. I was simply emotionally high.
I changed and I went out.
Banging the door shut on my way out.
I walked. I walked for 1 hour and 20 odd minutes.
I walked at a snails pace and let my mind wander.
I looked at the people on the street, the vendors, the cars rushing past, the dirt and plastic wrappers on the street. The young naked urchin playing with a twig or the men walking past me, casting me glances - wondering what a girl like me was doing walking randomly on the streets.
I wondered whether I should walk so much.
Wondered whether I'd get tired.
But I continued.
I kept walking.
I looked left and right as I crossed the road like a good girl.
I let the old couple pass because the pavement was tiny.
I took the longer route - passed familiar places.
The roll shop where we bought lunch for the whole crew for the Sweeney Todd production.
The place where I had whispered into my friend's ear about the crush I had.
The nook behind a tree where I hugged a friend, consoling her - telling her that Life wasnt cruel.
I passed by the road that I used to take on my way back home from school.
I passed by the house of my school teacher who was also my Dramatics teacher.
I turned left to observe the Army Base Camp and marvelled at their lifestyle. I thought about all the souls inside that campus - so far away from their families.
I kept walking.
The Technological Museum next to my school where we would be taken after school for a 'school trip'. I remember we were made to walk in line and shown the DNA system and all sorts of science oriented discoveries. As a student I would be bored inside the Museum - haven been taken there too many times. As I walked past it today, I wanted to roam inside again. I wanted to traverse through those corridors and climb those ridiculously large steps and marvel at the funny mirrors or the functions of the human mind.
I turned the corner from the main road and let a man pass by.
I stared at the traffic officer and felt a sense of pity.
I hope he doesnt get asthma, considering the amount of pollution in this city.
Two boys walked past me and turned around me have a look. I felt conscious of myself and started walking faster.
I slowed down again when I approached the Mandir.
I remember having gone there when I was a young girl.
The inside of it is architecturally beautiful. From the outside I could see the humungous chandelier that glistened and sparkled.
I saw families opening their slippers and walking inside. Fathers holding the little fingers of their young ones and helping them climb the steps one at a time. The mothers carrying the younger ones and taking them upstairs slowly.
For a split second I wanted to go inside too.
I felt the people staring at me. Waiting with a bated breath for my decision.
I havent been to a temple willingly in a long time. I dont see the use for it anymore.
I search inside for all my strengths.
But today, as I stared at the chandelier and the parents and the architecture, I felt like going in.
For the last time on my own terms.
But. I had withdrawn from this long back.
I turned and walked off.
I felt the freeze breaking free behing me and everyone resuming their work.
I walked slowly. I walked calmly.
I deliberately didnt wear a watch.
I wanted not to dictated by Time for once.
I heard the sound of traffic and it filled me.
I heard voice.
The sound of the footsteps.
Men talking.
Women squealing.
Kids laughing.
Thr crass tone of the bus conductors and the soft tone of the two lovers walking past me.
As I took another turn, there were less street lights.
I took a deep breath and looked up.
There were few stars in the sky.
Or maybe there were tons.
But with the comspolitan lighting, you can hardly see any.
I sighed.
I loved watching the stars.
It made me cry.
As I reached the gate to go back home, I felt relaxed than before.
I realized even though we crave for routine, sometimes its okay to break free.
That its okay to be alone at times.
Its okay to feel low so that the most normal things around you can make you high.
I took out my phone and checked the time.
A Rejuvinating 180 mins.
I like to have someone to chat along with when I walk.
I like not to think when I walk - it screws badly with my head.
Today, however I walked alone.
I went out of the house in anger.
I needed 'space' or whatever you term it to get my emotions and thoughts into place.
Nothing life threatening really happened. I was simply emotionally high.
I changed and I went out.
Banging the door shut on my way out.
I walked. I walked for 1 hour and 20 odd minutes.
I walked at a snails pace and let my mind wander.
I looked at the people on the street, the vendors, the cars rushing past, the dirt and plastic wrappers on the street. The young naked urchin playing with a twig or the men walking past me, casting me glances - wondering what a girl like me was doing walking randomly on the streets.
I wondered whether I should walk so much.
Wondered whether I'd get tired.
But I continued.
I kept walking.
I looked left and right as I crossed the road like a good girl.
I let the old couple pass because the pavement was tiny.
I took the longer route - passed familiar places.
The roll shop where we bought lunch for the whole crew for the Sweeney Todd production.
The place where I had whispered into my friend's ear about the crush I had.
The nook behind a tree where I hugged a friend, consoling her - telling her that Life wasnt cruel.
I passed by the road that I used to take on my way back home from school.
I passed by the house of my school teacher who was also my Dramatics teacher.
I turned left to observe the Army Base Camp and marvelled at their lifestyle. I thought about all the souls inside that campus - so far away from their families.
I kept walking.
The Technological Museum next to my school where we would be taken after school for a 'school trip'. I remember we were made to walk in line and shown the DNA system and all sorts of science oriented discoveries. As a student I would be bored inside the Museum - haven been taken there too many times. As I walked past it today, I wanted to roam inside again. I wanted to traverse through those corridors and climb those ridiculously large steps and marvel at the funny mirrors or the functions of the human mind.
I turned the corner from the main road and let a man pass by.
I stared at the traffic officer and felt a sense of pity.
I hope he doesnt get asthma, considering the amount of pollution in this city.
Two boys walked past me and turned around me have a look. I felt conscious of myself and started walking faster.
I slowed down again when I approached the Mandir.
I remember having gone there when I was a young girl.
The inside of it is architecturally beautiful. From the outside I could see the humungous chandelier that glistened and sparkled.
I saw families opening their slippers and walking inside. Fathers holding the little fingers of their young ones and helping them climb the steps one at a time. The mothers carrying the younger ones and taking them upstairs slowly.
For a split second I wanted to go inside too.
I felt the people staring at me. Waiting with a bated breath for my decision.
I havent been to a temple willingly in a long time. I dont see the use for it anymore.
I search inside for all my strengths.
But today, as I stared at the chandelier and the parents and the architecture, I felt like going in.
For the last time on my own terms.
But. I had withdrawn from this long back.
I turned and walked off.
I felt the freeze breaking free behing me and everyone resuming their work.
I walked slowly. I walked calmly.
I deliberately didnt wear a watch.
I wanted not to dictated by Time for once.
I heard the sound of traffic and it filled me.
I heard voice.
The sound of the footsteps.
Men talking.
Women squealing.
Kids laughing.
Thr crass tone of the bus conductors and the soft tone of the two lovers walking past me.
As I took another turn, there were less street lights.
I took a deep breath and looked up.
There were few stars in the sky.
Or maybe there were tons.
But with the comspolitan lighting, you can hardly see any.
I sighed.
I loved watching the stars.
It made me cry.
As I reached the gate to go back home, I felt relaxed than before.
I realized even though we crave for routine, sometimes its okay to break free.
That its okay to be alone at times.
Its okay to feel low so that the most normal things around you can make you high.
I took out my phone and checked the time.
A Rejuvinating 180 mins.
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