Helpless

Helpless.

Thats all I feel right now.

What else do you do when you cant help your loved one when he/she is most in need?
Not that you don't want to.
You really, Really do.
But. You don't know how to.

You don't know what action or words will help.
Will make a difference.
Maybe a hug?
A pat on the back?
Or simply sitting next to them: making him/her understand, that No Matter What ... you are there?

But, what happens when there is a physical distance added to all of this?
When you are miles away knowing that the other person is in a lot of pain?
What do you do then?

Phone calls can never replace a hug.
Whatsapps and voice notes will never replace a pat on the back.
Neither will mails and FB msgs replace the peaceful feeling of being near your loved one.

Global Consciousness.
This is when it plays a major role.
To firmly Believe and have Faith in the Positive forces in the Universe.
And to drive your own Positive Energy towards your loved one.

Yes, I Believe that if you really want something, the Universe conspires to get it for you.
I Believe that if You think positive, positive things are bound to happen.
You Need to have Faith. You Need to want good things to happen.
And it Will.

I Believe that my recovery was faster because of this same theory.
I had people from all over the world praying for me everyday.
Sending me their energies and good wishes.
So much of positive energies was bound to have effect.
And it did.

So.
When you feel helpless, close your eyes and think Positive.
And channelize your positivity towards your loved one.
No matter how near or far you are, energies travel.
And they never go waste.

All you Really need to do is,
Believe that its Possible.




Ironically, Im telling myself that.

Leak.

She knows him very well.
He lives in the same colony.
She knows his wife also. Very pretty lady.
Every evening when she plays with her friends, he and his wife go on a walk.
She had noticed his bald patch. His wrinkled hand. And his french beard. His salt-pepper hair.

She was sitting on her favourite pink chair as all the elders in the house spoke.
The roof was leaking and the monsoons were coming.
He was there. He was part of the Board. So even he had come to inspect.
She didn't understand all that they spoke.
About maintenance. About money. About contractors.
She was too young to understand. Barely 4 years old.
She simply waited for the talk to be over. So Ma could take her to bathe.

Tea was served. So Ma gave her a biscuit to nibble on.
She played with her tape-frock and bit into her biscuit.

He proposed they inspect the tank. Maybe the leakage had something to do with the tank?
Sipping his tea, he asked her whether she would accompany him?
She loved the terrace, but Ma wouldn't allow her to go there often.
So an opportunity to go was not that she was easily going to let go.

Still nibbling on her biscuit and holding his index finger, she climbed the stairs to the terrace.
She couldn't see anything. The walls of the terrace was to high for her.
But she didn't mind. She liked looking up to the sky and finding animal shapes in the clouds.

Today, she couldn't find any animals.
She was thoroughly disappointed.
She turned around looking for him, making sure he was there.
Otherwise she knew Ma would get angry if she was left un attended on the terrace.
She looked up again, desperately searching for at least one animal.
She thought she could see a fox when she felt a hand around her waist.

She turned around. He was looking down at her, pulling her close.
"Cant see anything?" he asked.
She stared at him. She shook her head.

He took her hand and took her behind the the tank.
Resting his back on the wall, he pulled her close.
"Have you finished seeing the tank Uncle?" she asked him innocently.
"Not yet dear. Let me show you where the leak is."
"Okay", she replied.

She could hear the laughter of the others downstairs.
Her father must be cracking a joke again, she thought.
Her father loved making people laugh.
But, her father never touched her like this.

His one hand held her firmly by the shoulder.
The other one tracing down her waist and down her thighs.

"Where is the leak Uncle?"
"The leak - " his voice became hoarse " - is right - "
His hand, went under her favourite tape frock, tracing her soft thighs and up towards her panties -
" - right here."

His grip on her shoulders tightened. He pulled her even closer.
His fingers searching for the insides of her panties.
She could feel his breathing becoming more rapid.

She knew something was not right.
She could sense it.
She tried to move away.
His grip tightened.
She used two of her little hands to move one of his thick hands away from in between her thighs.

She whined and eyes started welling up with tears.
Screaming, she wriggled free and ran out of the terrace and down the stairs.
The door of her house was open. Everyone was still sitting and talking.
She ran past them and locked herself into the loo.

Her Ma didn't notice for a long time that she was in the loo.
She hardly remembers what she was doing inside.
All she remembers is being scared.
Being very scared.

Sometime later, when her mother knocked on the door and asked if she was inside, she opened the loo door and asked if he was still there.
Ma seemed surprised by her daughter's question but replied that they had all left.
Scared and very slowly, she came out and hugged her mother.

She kept quiet the rest of the day.
Ma asked her many a times what had happened.
But she didn't know how to tell Ma.

At night, lying next to Ma, and holding her close and feeling safe for the first time in the whole day, she told Ma. She didn't cry. She knew what had happened. She knew it was all wrong. Even Ma didn't need to tell her that.

But the point was:
It Had Happened.
And there was nothing that could change that fact.

So now what?
Protests? Candlelight marches? Writings? Strikes? Blogs?
To what end?

To stop the unidentified man who gropes her at the metro?
Or to point a finger at the cop who leches at her at the Police Station?
Or to stop that old man who she thought was like her Grandfather?
Alpha male psychology is embedded in our systems.

How do you change a psychology that is in our system for generations?

Again, I don't have an answer.
I hope Time does.