Deal.

I was sitting with a bunch of friends in college.
In some discussion, me falling sick for that One Year came up.

"What did you feel when you found out?"
It was a very typical question.

What Did I feel?

Very honestly speaking. I dont remember.
All I remember clearly, very clearly, is the conversation I had with my Oncologist.

I was in her room.
She folded her hands and said, "Okay. I'll explain to you what exactly has happened to you. There is nothing to worry about. Its 98% curable."
"I know everything," I told her smiling.
She looked pleasantly surprised.
"You do?"
"I do. But I Also know I dont have patience and I dont like waiting - "
She looked at me quizzically.
I continued, " - I have waited for nearly 5.5 hours to meet you today. I want to get back to school. Tell me what to do to get well. And to get well Fast. Thats all I care about."
She looked at my parents and laughed, "That was easier than I thought!"

I have always had a deal with my parents and my Doctors.
Dont hide anything from me.
Tell me whatever is going on.
The good and the bad news.
I must be the 1st one to hear it.
And I'll figure out my own way to deal with whatever that comes my way.

And that is something I have maintained till date.

My Doctors knew this and respected my decision.
Hence, inspite of my age, they let me in on everything.

The reason for this is simple.
At the end, it would have to be me who would have to deal with it.
The good, bad or the worst.
I demand to know everything in advance to prepare myself for whatever that I was supposed to fight back.
Its simply for a mental preparation.
And thats Really helped me.

However, many around me do not hold the same opinion.
They wish to hide the difficult bits to "protect" the patient. To safegaurd him/her from the trauma.
Many a times a family member is kept in the dark.
Though I dont agree with this approach, I respect it.
I understand their concern.

However, I question this approach only because of one thing:
You may try and hide the truth from a family member or the patient, but for How long? The truth will have to surface at one point or the other; and what if then, it is too late?

One of the friend with whom I was having this discussion was kept in the dark through the entire process of his mother's struggle with Ovarian Cancer. She is under full remission now and its been three years. He was only informed of the whole affair After she was fully recovered.
I asked him the same question then.

What did he feel when he found out a year later, after everything was alright?
"I felt angry," he said. "I screamed and felt really bad that I was kept in the dark. Ofcourse I was relieved about Ma being okay. But I think I had a right to know. To help then. To have the opportunity of atleast being some sort of support ... But I guess I understand their perspective also. But still, I was pissed."

I guess it depends on the age and mental framework of individuals also.
Its subjective.
But I personally feel, every individual has atleast the right to know and figure out their own personal ways of dealing with situations.