Cold Christmas

I had a bad feeling on my way to the Hospital.

My worst fears were confirmed the minute I entered the Playroom. 

Little Miss Sunshine had not made it. 

Her body had finally given up the fight.

The Mother had lost her Universe the night before. 

I was not teary eyed. But I kind of lost track of my actions for a while.

Other kids demanded attention and I very mechanically responded. 

Her beady eyes and toothy grin kept flashing back. 

It was difficult to come to terms with her not being there. 

I went for a walk to the Ward to meet the kids. 

And in Her bed was another kid who was being fed by his mother. 

Life's cycle.

Ones place taken up the next. 

Time and Life doesn't wait for anyone. 

It was a harsh realisation.
Yet, here was another Mother and another kid. 

Fighting the same battle. 

Sunshine's death had its consequences. 

Walking out of the Playroom, I noticed another kid's mother crying in the corridor. 

Sunshine and her son both are AML patients and was in a bed directly opposite theirs. 

Being a Mother, she had become attached to Sunshine too. 

If Sunshine couldn't make it, would her son manage?

Or would he too succumb to the ravages of Cancer?

What answer would she give her son when he questioned why that little sister in the opposite bed wasn't there anymore? 

Sunshine not being there had brought in an atmosphere of gloom in the Ward. 

If she couldn't survive, would the other kids manage?

But Sunshine is the 4th patient the Paediatric Ward had lost in the last 3 months. 

It was a reality that we all had to accept.

Looking at someone ticking on the box that said 'expired' on Sunshine's medical form sent shivers down my spine. 

Yet I had to accept the harsh truth and go back to my work.

I had to move on and go attend a performance by my college Choir and listen to Christmas Carols. 

Sitting in the auditorium listening to "Jingle Bells" I sighed at the Irony of Life.

What Just One Day can encompass for one individual.

From accepting Death to consoling a terrified mother to attending a performance that heralds Christmas and all the goodness that it stands for.
Amidst all that Sunshine's face is something I can't forget. Even though I have known her for barely 2.5 weeks, it was enough to form a bond. 

My heart goes out to her Mother. 

And inspite of having no words to comfort, I wish I could simply go give her a hug. 

For her, this Christmas is not going to be about the warmth and comfort it brings. 

Its going to be Cold and harsh. 

I guess once we can accept this basic reality of Life and Death - of this continuous vicious cycle, we'll be able to deal with situations better. 

I'm still learning. 

RIP Sunshine.