Since the time I have been going to the Playroom, I have stood as a Ray of Hope, for both the parents and the kids.
A hope that each kid getting treated at the paediatric ward will be fine. That each one of them like me, will be able to jump back to normalcy and lead a healthy, active and happee Life.
When a mother asks me if her son will be fine, my instant reaction is to smile, hold her hand and comfort her.
To tell her, "Look at me. Am I not fine? Trust this Institution and trust the Doctors. Your son will also recover. He too will be fine". She smiles back, holds my hand tighter and tells me, "Looking at you, I feel there is a Ray of Hope. That there is god who will cure him". Though I don't believe in god anymore, I acknowledge her believe, faith and trust and assure her of her son's good health.
This brings a reassured smile on her face.
Next day I notice a father standing in the corridor, worried. He informs me his daughter's platelet count is falling.
Yet again, I am able to reassure this parent. I tell him that during Chemotherapy, this is normal. That there is nothing to worry about. That mine fell drastically at times too and that the count will again soon rise.
This news makes him smile and feel reassured.
He blesses me and prays for my good health and tells me, "Now that you tell me your platelet count fell too and you are alright Now, I feel better".
Each time, I have managed to reassure a parent. They watch me, healthy and jumping around and feel reassured of the fact that their child too will be able to fight the Cancer cells in their tiny bodies and come back to leading a normal Life.
They use me to reassure their children too. To point at me and tell the wailing child that, "Look Didi also had to have this injection! She is fine! Even you will be!" For me to pat the child and tell him/her that I Know how it feels, having been through it myself.
This in a way also helps reassure the child - that he/she is not the only one to undergo this amount of pain.
That he/she is not alone in this.
But.
What kind of Ray of Hope do I send to that mother who lost her 3 years and 3 month old son to Cancer? What assurance do I give her after her own lost battle for 1 whole year? What do I explain to her and what do I do to comfort her?
Facing The Other Side is not easy.
The question that arises then is that what do I stand for her?
Does my playful nature remind her of her own child playing in the very same Playroom even 5 months back? Or does it make her realize that Time and Life doesn't wait for anyone and that she too needs to move on? Or is it too disrespectful and rude for me to even think that So soon?
Isn't me telling her to be strong and have the will to move on simply stupid on my part?
What then, do I tell her?
Its different comforting a parent whose child, even though struggling, is still alive.
And its a different ball game altogether to even converse with a parent, a mother especially, who recently lost her son.
For the 1st time, I didn't know what to do.
And very meanly enough, I didn't want her around.
Her lost battle would not help the other parents in the Playroom.
Her story would only hamper the positive atmosphere I had managed to build around the Playroom.
Is it to mean of me to think that?
I dont know.
All I know is that, Cancer will teach you a lot about Life.
And Death.
A hope that each kid getting treated at the paediatric ward will be fine. That each one of them like me, will be able to jump back to normalcy and lead a healthy, active and happee Life.
When a mother asks me if her son will be fine, my instant reaction is to smile, hold her hand and comfort her.
To tell her, "Look at me. Am I not fine? Trust this Institution and trust the Doctors. Your son will also recover. He too will be fine". She smiles back, holds my hand tighter and tells me, "Looking at you, I feel there is a Ray of Hope. That there is god who will cure him". Though I don't believe in god anymore, I acknowledge her believe, faith and trust and assure her of her son's good health.
This brings a reassured smile on her face.
Next day I notice a father standing in the corridor, worried. He informs me his daughter's platelet count is falling.
Yet again, I am able to reassure this parent. I tell him that during Chemotherapy, this is normal. That there is nothing to worry about. That mine fell drastically at times too and that the count will again soon rise.
This news makes him smile and feel reassured.
He blesses me and prays for my good health and tells me, "Now that you tell me your platelet count fell too and you are alright Now, I feel better".
Each time, I have managed to reassure a parent. They watch me, healthy and jumping around and feel reassured of the fact that their child too will be able to fight the Cancer cells in their tiny bodies and come back to leading a normal Life.
They use me to reassure their children too. To point at me and tell the wailing child that, "Look Didi also had to have this injection! She is fine! Even you will be!" For me to pat the child and tell him/her that I Know how it feels, having been through it myself.
This in a way also helps reassure the child - that he/she is not the only one to undergo this amount of pain.
That he/she is not alone in this.
But.
What kind of Ray of Hope do I send to that mother who lost her 3 years and 3 month old son to Cancer? What assurance do I give her after her own lost battle for 1 whole year? What do I explain to her and what do I do to comfort her?
Facing The Other Side is not easy.
The question that arises then is that what do I stand for her?
Does my playful nature remind her of her own child playing in the very same Playroom even 5 months back? Or does it make her realize that Time and Life doesn't wait for anyone and that she too needs to move on? Or is it too disrespectful and rude for me to even think that So soon?
Isn't me telling her to be strong and have the will to move on simply stupid on my part?
What then, do I tell her?
Its different comforting a parent whose child, even though struggling, is still alive.
And its a different ball game altogether to even converse with a parent, a mother especially, who recently lost her son.
For the 1st time, I didn't know what to do.
And very meanly enough, I didn't want her around.
Her lost battle would not help the other parents in the Playroom.
Her story would only hamper the positive atmosphere I had managed to build around the Playroom.
Is it to mean of me to think that?
I dont know.
All I know is that, Cancer will teach you a lot about Life.
And Death.
No comments:
Post a Comment