I was staying at Didinz at that time.
She stays in Ballygunge and I was there for two reasons.
Firstly, Ballygunge is at the heart of the city and secondly, Ballygunge was closer to the Hospital than Salt Lake.
For the 10 odd months I was there, I had taken over Didinz bedroom.
The view from her bedroom was superb.
From the window by the bed, you could see all the way to the tall South City Towers and from the other window, you could get a glimpse of not only the Kalighat Temple but also the Howrah Bridge. The window by the bed has a window sill which is wide enough for me to even lie down. And for me, that window sill still remains the favorite spot in the whole house.
When I stayed there, I loved curling up on top of it and looking out into the vastness. As poetic as it may sound, it helped to ease my mind and watch Life as it went on as my family and I struggled with my health.
Didinz bedroom walls were white. Being a stickler for cleanliness, her walls were kept extra white. Between the bed and the cupboard lay an empty wall space.
I remember the day I was informed about the number of chemotherapy sessions I had to take (6 cycles - 2 in each cycle and therefore 12 sessions in total), I came back to Didinz and drew a huge Circle on that white wall space with an Apsara Extra Dark pencil.
Inside that Circle, I wrote the numbers 1 to 12.
Beside each number that represented each chemotherapy session, I wrote what it was leading to.
So the circle basically encapsulated something like the following (its not the exact replicate):
1 - One down already! Just a few more to go!
2 - Excellent! One Cycle Over. That wasn't so difficult!
3 - Already in the 2nd Cycle! Thats going fast!
(and so and so forth till...)
10 - Just One more Cycle left and then back to school!
11 - Just One more session to go! C'mon I can do this!!
12 - Over! Done and Over with! Hurray!!
And quite naturally, this Countdown gave me a small and yet a great impetus to go to the Hospital and sit through around round of pure boredom, nausea, weakness and pain.
It was small compared to the greater understanding that I simply had to go to AMRI to get well. However, it was great because each time I got back from the Hospital, simply being able to strike off yet another number from that Circle gave me a mental boost and an euphoric spirit. In doing this small act, it just helped me gain a positive outlook towards the whole situation and thereby gain more strength in myself to be able to complete the whole treatment. By the time I reached the 11th Cycle it was not getting any easier, but the want or the desire to get better was far greater than the pain.
The mind in such situations is continuously at war with the body. No matter how much the body wants to give up, Man's greatest impulse is the desire to Survive and the mind always helps to achieve just that.
This Circle might have appeared insignificant in the greater scheme of things, but in reality it remained a crucial part to give a greater push to my mind to keep fighting and carry on.
The walls today have been repainted.
If you walk into that bedroom today, you won't realize that an 18 year old girl had drawn a Cycle Countdown Circle there. You would walk past that area today, you won't even realize it.
Didin repainted it because she said it remindes her of days which doesn't necessarily want to recollect.
However, If I had my way, I would keep that drawing. Always.
Like I Always want to keep my operation scar.
For a reminder of what I have been through, of what I have overcome and thereby derive strength from it - both mentally and emotionally.
And to thus help me overcome any situation in Life.
She stays in Ballygunge and I was there for two reasons.
Firstly, Ballygunge is at the heart of the city and secondly, Ballygunge was closer to the Hospital than Salt Lake.
For the 10 odd months I was there, I had taken over Didinz bedroom.
The view from her bedroom was superb.
From the window by the bed, you could see all the way to the tall South City Towers and from the other window, you could get a glimpse of not only the Kalighat Temple but also the Howrah Bridge. The window by the bed has a window sill which is wide enough for me to even lie down. And for me, that window sill still remains the favorite spot in the whole house.
When I stayed there, I loved curling up on top of it and looking out into the vastness. As poetic as it may sound, it helped to ease my mind and watch Life as it went on as my family and I struggled with my health.
Didinz bedroom walls were white. Being a stickler for cleanliness, her walls were kept extra white. Between the bed and the cupboard lay an empty wall space.
I remember the day I was informed about the number of chemotherapy sessions I had to take (6 cycles - 2 in each cycle and therefore 12 sessions in total), I came back to Didinz and drew a huge Circle on that white wall space with an Apsara Extra Dark pencil.
Inside that Circle, I wrote the numbers 1 to 12.
Beside each number that represented each chemotherapy session, I wrote what it was leading to.
So the circle basically encapsulated something like the following (its not the exact replicate):
1 - One down already! Just a few more to go!
2 - Excellent! One Cycle Over. That wasn't so difficult!
3 - Already in the 2nd Cycle! Thats going fast!
(and so and so forth till...)
10 - Just One more Cycle left and then back to school!
11 - Just One more session to go! C'mon I can do this!!
12 - Over! Done and Over with! Hurray!!
And quite naturally, this Countdown gave me a small and yet a great impetus to go to the Hospital and sit through around round of pure boredom, nausea, weakness and pain.
It was small compared to the greater understanding that I simply had to go to AMRI to get well. However, it was great because each time I got back from the Hospital, simply being able to strike off yet another number from that Circle gave me a mental boost and an euphoric spirit. In doing this small act, it just helped me gain a positive outlook towards the whole situation and thereby gain more strength in myself to be able to complete the whole treatment. By the time I reached the 11th Cycle it was not getting any easier, but the want or the desire to get better was far greater than the pain.
The mind in such situations is continuously at war with the body. No matter how much the body wants to give up, Man's greatest impulse is the desire to Survive and the mind always helps to achieve just that.
This Circle might have appeared insignificant in the greater scheme of things, but in reality it remained a crucial part to give a greater push to my mind to keep fighting and carry on.
The walls today have been repainted.
If you walk into that bedroom today, you won't realize that an 18 year old girl had drawn a Cycle Countdown Circle there. You would walk past that area today, you won't even realize it.
Didin repainted it because she said it remindes her of days which doesn't necessarily want to recollect.
However, If I had my way, I would keep that drawing. Always.
Like I Always want to keep my operation scar.
For a reminder of what I have been through, of what I have overcome and thereby derive strength from it - both mentally and emotionally.
And to thus help me overcome any situation in Life.
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